Story by Spc. Brittany Gardner

BASRAH, Iraq – Sibling rivalry isn’t always about animosity or jealousy. Sometimes it sparks healthy competitions between brothers or sisters and helps them accomplish their goals. One soldier attributes his success in the military to the rivalry between him and his brother.

Spc. Andrew C. Deason, 36th Infantry Division Special Troops Battalion strives harder for military excellence in order to out-do his older brother, a specialist in the active-duty Army.

Deason, a 21 year-old Houston native, joined the Texas Army National Guard in 2007 for a few different reasons. Many of his family members have served in the Army, including his two grandfathers and his dad, a Vietnam veteran. Sibling rivalry between him and his brother was another motive that led Deason to where he is now, serving as an Iraqi security forces knowledge management representative at Contingency Operating Base Basra.

His brother, Spc. Brian Brown, 10th Mountain Division combat medic, has also deployed to Iraq, twice. Although Deason enlisted two years after his brother, Deason claims that so far he is winning the competition between them to be the first to achieve certain military goals, such as graduating basic combat training, advanced individual training, and getting promoted.

“After he enlisted, I still considered myself better than him,” said Deason. “I told him, ‘Alright. I can do everything you do and better’. It took him two and a half years to get his [rank]. I did it in two. He went through basic training and graduated. I went to basic training and graduated an honor grad. He went to AIT and graduated honor grad., and I went to AIT and graduated the distinguished honor grad,” said Deason with a laugh.

The brothers also compete to see who can meet the highest-ranking military officials.

“When it comes to meeting people,” said Deason, “I’ve got him beat so far. He’s met Gen. Austin. He’s met the chief of staff. Me, I’ve met Gen. Austin, the chief of staff, and the sergeant major of the Army. So, I’m a little ahead of him so far.”

During Sgt. Maj. of the Army Raymond F. Chandler III’s visit to COB Basra, Deason was presented with a coin for excelling in his mission here in support of Operation New Dawn. While handing him the coin, Chandler complimented Deason on his demeanor.

“He said that I have one of those personalities that just makes you want to be around me,” Deason explained. “Since I’ve been here I’ve heard that a lot more than I thought I would. I guess because I seem friendly, and I’ve always got a smile on.”

Deason said he has heard similar compliments from many soldiers throughout his deployment. He finds it’s a lot easier to smile even if he is having a bad day, because he doesn’t see the point in bringing other people down with him.

“Spc. Deason is an invaluable part of our section,” said Sgt 1st Class James R. Gifford, Iraqi security forces section non-commissioned-officer-in-charge.“He has a great personality and his positivity promotes a higher level of morale in our section daily. He is one of those people whose persona makes it difficult for you to have a bad day. He has an extremely strong work ethic and continues to search for ways to improve through both civilian and military education, as well as daily experiences and others jobs.”

With the support he receives from soldiers and his family, including his brother, keeping a positive attitude comes easy, Deason said.

“My mom goes along with whatever I do,” said Deason. “As long as it’s nothing negative, she’s cool with it. My dad is really proud because he’s a Vietnam veteran. He really didn’t expect me to go to the military and stuff. He always thought I’d be the quick little college kid ‘cause he always had this thing about me being a pretty boy. So, I had a little bit to prove.”

The rivalry between him and his brother keeps Deason motivated to accomplish his goals, but he also attributes his drive to succeed as just being part of his personality.

“Me, I like being the guy on top,” Deason said with a grin. “And, if all else fails, fake it ‘til you make it.”

Interesting article from the Gaston Gazette entitled, “How to Squash a Sibling Rivalry”.

Quick situation: 7 year old boy, 2 year old girl.  Girl is wandering in and causing problems/arguments over toys, etc. Solution (straight from the article):  ”The solution is obvious and simple — your son closes and if necessary locks his door. That accomplishes two things: first, it establishes a physical boundary between himself and his sister; second, she is forced to begin learning to entertain herself.
Allow one outburst a day. The second outburst means your son’s not accepting his responsibility for the problem. As a result, he goes to bed an hour early, and every subsequent outburst shaves an additional 30 minutes off his bedtime. I just bet that will be sufficient motivation for him to keep his door closed.”

I’m pretty sure that separating kids with a locked door will certainly help squash the rivalry in the short term.  But I don’t see the promotion of the family or a long term solution. Unless the long term solution is separation.

I would think putting the kids together intentionally in the same place might be a better thing to try first.  They can be working on the same activity or their own activity, but in the same proximity that was set up by you, the parent.  This way you could eliminate the initial problem of the little sister wandering into the older brother’s space with no particular reason and let them learn to be together more.

As always, I could be wrong, but my goals are never short term problem oriented.  They are long term, close sibling oriented!  Try both solutions and let us know.

Brett
Author, Close Kids: Connect Your Children For Life

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Greetings everyone.  Education.com is one of, if not the biggest, information sites on the web.  Great information for parents, students and everyone in between.

We were very honored to have them publish an article on keeping brothers and sisters closely knit.

Check it out here http://www.education.com/reference/article/nurturing-sibling-relationship-long-term/

And spend some time getting to know Education.com!

To get your copy of “Close Kids – Connecting Your Children For Life”, click below or shop at your favorite book seller.

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Cool story about some cool sisters who root for each other…most of the time.

BY TRENT HILE

HIGH-FLYING karate sisters Bianca and Alexandra Gallo have taken the meaning of a sibling rivalry to a whole new level. Both own a swag of state, national, and international medals; both are amongst the top handful of junior fighters in the world; and both hail from Richmond’s Hawkesbury Martial Arts dojo.

But to be the best, it’s now likely one will have to beat the other.

15-year-old Alexandra has stepped up to the same 53kg division as 17-year-old Bianca, meaning for the first time, each’s biggest rival in competition lives under the very same roof. The pair first locked horns competitively at the Sydney International Karate Championships at Liverpool’s Whitlam Centre last weekend.

In the final of the Kumite (sparring) Female Junior 48-59kg merged division, Alexandra emerged with bragging rights, winning a nail-biting bout 1-0. Not to be outdone by her younger sister, Bianca squared the wager with a 1-0 win over Alexandra to take the gold medal in the final of the Kumite Female Junior Open division. While most parents would view this most unusual situation as an impending World War III, the girls say they enjoy squaring-off on the mat.

“When we fought we couldn’t help but laugh,” Bianca said. “One minute we were cheering each other from the sidelines, the next we realise we’re facing each other in the final.”

“We know exactly what each other is going to do so we have to try and trick each other,” Alexandra said. “If you are fighting another girl they always have something different – it’s not that we don’t have something different, we just always know what the other one is going to throw.

Speaking with the Gazette last week, the Gallo’s said their preparation remains the same whether facing each other or another opponent. That was until HMA Sensei Daniel Spice cheekily interjected with, “Bianca is scared of Alexandra,” which was of course vehemently denied by the senior of the two.

“It’s worse for me to lose to Alexandra than it is for her to lose to me, because it’s like, well your big sister beat you,” Bianca said.

“When people found out last weekend [that we were sisters] everyone was teasing me with ‘oh so your little sister beat you’.

“It’s like losing to myself, she fights like me anyway,” Bianca laughed.

Alexandra said winning meant more than just gaining one over her beloved big sister.

“Obviously Bianca is my biggest competition so it’s always good beating her,” Alexandra said. “But I felt proud to beat her because it is so hard for us to get a point on each other, so to actually win it was a great achievement.”

The girls are both working towards gaining a spot in the Australian squad for the World Karate Federation Junior and Cadet World Championships in Malaysia at the end of the year, which Spice describes as “the Olympics of karate.” Though with only one spot on offer for each weight division, Alexandra (being the taller of the pair) may look to move up to the 59kg division. Spice has faced a similar stalemate with fellow sibling teammates Aaron and Braden McMahon, with 17-year-old Aaron moving to the +76kg division to avoid clashing with 15-year-old Braden in the 61-68kg. According to Spice, all four are realistic chances of gaining the selectors’ vote.

“Our goal in the next few years is to get to the senior world titles,” Alexandra said. “Hopefully there we can knock out some of the big guns.”

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Last week I didn’t send out a FamilyDads encouragement email to you, so I’m making up by sending two FamilyDads emails this week. Be on the lookout for the next email, which will be more lighthearted than today’s – you’re sure to get a few laughs!

So my excuse for missing last week?

Last week was crazy busy for me.  But as I think about it, for most of us dads, every week is super busy, wouldn’t you agree?

And being a super busy dad is one of the gravest dangers to our families.

Something about being super busy, especially with our work, makes us feel productive, successful, a sense of accomplishment, purposeful.

To us, that is.

But not in the eyes of our children.

On more than one occassion, I am sad to admit that I have heard my oldest son scolding his younger sister or brother for interrupting when I’m busy working at my desk.

“Dad’s busy. Leave him alone.”

Oh how those words have cut to my heart like a knife. If there is one thing I don’t want my children to have memories of their father is that he was too busy for them.

If we are too busy with work to spend loads of time with our wife and children every week, then we are too busy — no excuses.

And the fallout down the road will be painful. Our spouse and children will look to other people or other things to fill the void that a husband and father’s love was meant for.

You are the only person on this earth that can meet that deep need your wife and children have. The need for their husband/father’s love expressed through his time with them.

Like a broken record, I will repeat it again…

We must show our love to our family by the time we personally spend interacting with each of them. Each week.

So from one super busy dad to another, let something go at work until next week. Keep one more thing “not crossed off” on your to-do list.

And go spend some more time with your wife and children.

You won’t regret it.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
Host of FamilyDads.com

P.S. – Having to practice what I preach, I spent several hours yesterday afternoon in the large field behind our house picking wild mushrooms the size of potatoes and having a “war” throwing them long distances at my children. Each time one hit the ground, my kids burst out laughing at the explosion it made. We followed that up with throwing a frisbee together for quite a while. They loved our time together, and so did this dad!

Hello everyone.  I hope you are all enjoying your summer.  It has finally gotten hot, but been rainy here.

Anyway, for those who missed it, the interview on connecting your children together and how God might interject into the sibling relationship can be found here… Family Life Today International Broadcast with Brett Johnston

If we can help answer any questions or to set up a talk to your community group, feel free to contact me directly or talk to Jim Miller at Tate Publishing @ (405) 376-4900.

May every sibling find joy in each other!

Brett

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It is rare that I break content from siblings and parenting, but I’ve stumbled upon something very valuable to families and Moms in particular.  Through the Family Life Today Ministry, I was introduced to Sandy Ralya.  Sandy was admittedly in real trouble with her marriage to an also admittedly husband who tried to control her every move.

I wanted to share a little bit about her amazing story from the depths of marriage to a redeemed and strong partnership with the man she told “I do”.

From Sandy:

Marriage is hard work! Have you ever longed for the wise counsel of an experienced married woman to ask those “But how?” and “What if?” questions about your marriage?

When author Sandy Ralya’s marriage was in trouble, she would walk into church each Sunday morning desperate for help but not daring to ask for it—everyone else’s marriage seemed so perfect.  Her life appeared beautiful on the outside, but inside it was a mess.  Over time, Sandy turned to God through reading the Bible and prayer and sought guidance from godly mentors and Christian counselors.  What she learned transformed her life and then her marriage.

In Beautiful Womanhood: A Biblical, Practical Guide for Wives, Sandy passes on Biblical principles, practical tips, and inspiring stories from her life and others to guide and encourage any wife looking for God’s best in her marriage.  This book also serves as the curriculum for Beautiful Womanhood small groups led by marriage mentors.  Beautiful Womanhood Mentor Edition is also available.

Purchase Beautiful Womanhood At Amazon Online Store.

Here’s an introduction to the Beautiful Womanhood Ministry:

Beautiful Womanhood is a Christian mentoring ministry for wives.  Beautiful Womanhood strengthens marriages by encouraging women in their role as a wife, equipping marriage mentors, and helping women build loving, godly, and supportive relationships with other wives.

To learn more about the Beautiful Womanhood ministry, log on to www.beautifulwomanhood.com.

Blessings,

Sandy Ralya

Author & Speaker

www.beautifulwomanhood.com

Until next time.  All the best,
Brett
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Hello everyone.  I am fortunate enough to be invited on Dennis Rainey’s Family Life Today Radio Program for two half-hour segments airing Monday and Tuesday.  We look at the principals of having Close Kids from a Godly point of view.

Family Life Today is an awesome program that is really making a difference in families!

Find a station here

Get more information from FLToday.com here

Podcasts will be available after the show airs as well.  I hope you love it.

Also for those of you in the Fort Worth area (my hometown), I will be at Barnes & Noble this Saturday from 1-3.  Please stop by and say hello, I would love to see you.

Brett

Become a Fan – Close Kids – Connecting Siblings For Life on Facebook

Edmond author outlines steps to make siblings lifelong friends in new book ‘Close Kids’

Link to Article about preserving the sibling relationship.

Thank you for all the support, friends.

Brett

Become a Fan – Close Kids – Connecting Siblings For Life on Facebook

http://www.internationalfamilymag.com/articlesfeb10/closekids.htm

Here is a post from International Family Mazine about “Close Kids”.

According to the organization, their goal is “to be informative, identifying and humorous to those caregivers across the globe who work hard to create family in our lives.  It contains articles of interest, international factoids or Ifs, arts and humor, product coupons and consumer information, expert advice, a global directory for networking purposes and other interactive elements.”

It is a beautiful web space, so take a look!

Brett