Link to Article about preserving the sibling relationship.

Thank you for all the support, friends.

Brett

Become a Fan – Close Kids – Connecting Siblings For Life on Facebook

Here is a post from International Family Mazine about “Close Kids”.

According to the organization, their goal is “to be informative, identifying and humorous to those caregivers across the globe who work hard to create family in our lives.  It contains articles of interest, international factoids or Ifs, arts and humor, product coupons and consumer information, expert advice, a global directory for networking purposes and other interactive elements.”

It is a beautiful web space, so take a look!

Brett

How can we help our kids have a great relationship as adults?

That was the question and hopefully we are a step further today.  But this is only the beginning!  As our kids get older, there will be more pitfalls sure, but many great joys as well.  And many chances for us to influence their relationship.

I’ve always said to groups, I hope someone smarter than me writes a better book about having well connected kids.  That statement has never been more true.  The goal ultimately for us is to do the best we can to form a bond between our kids that is transcending.  Any help is always welcome.

Thank you to all that have helped and supported us along the way.  May you and your children find all the wonderful surprises God has put in your path.

Brett A Johnston
closekids.com

PS. If you have not had the opportunity to purchase a book yet, today is a perfect day.  Amazon is already hosting an amazing sale!  Click any link below to purchase from your favorite bookseller or talk to your local store today.

We have had so much positive news coming out of families making it a stated priority for their children to be close.  It is both gratifying and humbling that you share this dream with us.

Bless you all this holiday season!

Brett

PS. Pre-orders are also available as full version copies of the book on Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble.com, Borders.com and BooksAMillion.com!

Also $2 for every book sold on the web site until Christmas will go to Bear Necessities Pediatric Cancer Foundation.  So if you have been waiting, now is the time!

From Maggie Cary – Classroomtalk.com

Are your sons gentlemen? It’s a word that we don’t use too often these days. The way we raise our boys today will determine the types of men that we have in our society in a decade or so. With more equality for woman and girls, we are now asking less of our young men and boys. Each day I see boys, and girls too for that matter, that are not held accountable for their actions. The older I get the more it scares me. All parents need to teach courtesy, manners and respect for others as a life skill.

Some might argue that, “ladies first,” is a phrase from the past. Maybe so, but as a parent and teacher, nothing pleases me more than seeing a boy with manners. Proper courtesy to others is a reflection of a family’s values. Teaching manners instills both a respect for others (including siblings), and respect for oneself, which in turn will help alleviate the impetuous behavior you describe. Do your sons practice the behaviors listed below? If not, perhaps it’s time to teach them these:

1. Open the door for others, especially women, mothers with strollers and older people;

2. Shake hands and look people in the eye when greeting them;

3. Assist seniors (grandparents, etc.) with getting in or out of the car and carrying groceries;

4. Take off hats during the National Anthem (any country’s) and Pledge of Allegiance;

5. Know not to interrupt adults or peers when they are talking and instead listen and have respect for what others have to say, even if they have a different point of view;

6. Accept responsibility for actions, good and bad, and;

7. Use “please,” “thank you,” and “excuse me” as appropriate.

Good manners should be an unconditional parental expectation. The best way to teach manners is to model them daily yourself. Although children often learn best by emulating what they see, it’s also important to make clear what your expectations are. Don’t wait for misbehavior to tell your boys what you expect, tell them when things are calm, tell them when they are alone, and tell them as a group. Without “nagging,” tell them often, and praise them when they exhibit good manners. Children want attention and will strive to get it. As you notice and praise one of the boys when you catch them doing the right thing, the others will catch on. If they get more attention when they are praised than when they are corrected, the good behavior will become the norm.

Of course all of the above goes for girls too. Although when they get older they’ll appreciate, “ladies first.” You can count on it!

As we near launch time of the book, I wanted to say a special thank you to my wife, Tiffini!  Without her, this project would never have come.  She was there from the initial idea to the very end.  All her insights, ideas and passion makes it really our project, not just mine.

As it gets closer to January 18th, I have found myself more concerned with promotion of the project than remembering what is important.  Living the truth.

The whole idea was based on our desire as parents for our children to grow up and have a wonderful relationship together.  The book is and always will be secondary to that end.  So not only must I thank her for her contributions, but I must thank her for keeping me focused on the important things.  God, family and love of each other.

If you want to join us, please come aboard.  If not, that is OK too.  My hope is someone out there will read this book and figure out even more ways to connect siblings and share them with the rest of us.

From our family to yours, Happy Holidays.

Brett

To say thank you for all the subscribers to the newsletter and those who helped along the way, I’m offering the special buy one, get one free to give a friend!  Make another parent’s day by giving them a free copy of Close Kids.

This offer will not last long.  So order today and give your children the gift of a life long, positive friendship.

Click Here to Order Now
Click Here for More Information!

All the best,
Brett A Johnston

Why siblings clash

If your preschooler is the baby of the family, she’s beginning to catch on that her older sibling has some of the independence and privileges she wants for herself — while your firstborn is discovering that he does not want his little sister tagging along wherever he goes. The result: arguing, name-calling, teasing, tattling, pushing, and hitting that will occupy your kids for hours on end and ultimately threaten your sanity.

The truth is, some brothers and sisters bicker their whole lives, so accept the fact that a certain level of background noise is unavoidable. On the other hand, it’s a good idea to teach your children, as early as possible, the importance of treating each other respectfully and resolving their own conflicts. Refereeing sibling rivalry isn’t for the faint of heart. But with some careful navigation and lots of understanding, you can minimize the headaches and make life at home more harmonious.

What you can do about sibling rivalry

Try not to foster competition. Resist the temptation to compare your children. The classic “Why can’t you be more like your brother?” is bound to hurt feelings. Instead, emphasize each child’s unique strengths: “Tyler, you did such a good job hanging up your towel. And Rachel, I’m so proud of you for writing a story all by yourself.” Praise and reward them together whenever possible, too: “Wow! Nobody spilled their milk tonight!”

Don’t strive for equality. Yes, you read that right. When parents, with the best of intentions, try to treat their children equally, they create more problems than they solve. Instead, treat your children as individuals. The time will come — if it hasn’t already — when one child will get to take a gymnastics class that the other is too young for. And, of course, each child will suffer the indignity of watching her sibling celebrate a birthday with mounds of presents that only he gets to open.

Instead of pursuing equality, tell your kids that you do your best to be fair — and that’s the best you can do. When one wails, “Cindy has more cherries than me,” try saying, “Would you like another cherry? How many more do you think you’ll eat?” When it comes to portions, let one child cut the cake and the other choose the first piece. The child doing the cutting will strive to make the portions identical, and both children may even enjoy the novelty of the experience.

Discourage tattling. When your preschooler runs to tell you that her older sister is sneaking candy, tell her you’re not interested in hearing from her what her sibling is doing. If she wants to tell you what she’s doing, on the other hand, you’re all ears. Make it clear that you won’t stand for your children trying to get each other into trouble. But be sure they understand the one important exception to this rule: If anybody is in danger of getting hurt or is hurting someone, then you need to hear about it right away.

Arbitrate and set limits when necessary. In general, avoid getting involved in your children’s arguments — except to facilitate communication. You can try saying, “I’ll be back in one minute. If you haven’t figured out how to share the toy, neither of you can play with it.” But keep in mind that younger kids often need a grown-up arbiter to enforce civility and guide them toward a compromise — especially if emotions are escalating and you see fury or tears on the horizon. When that happens (and if you think the children are mature enough), step in and listen to all sides of the debate. Don’t let anyone interrupt the person saying her piece. Then sum up the problem, acknowledge its difficulty, and help your kids arrive at simple solutions.

Of course, at times one child will clearly be at fault. If it’s your preschooler, take her aside and lay down guidelines for future scuffles. You might tell her, “Sometimes your big brother likes to play blocks with you, but sometimes he doesn’t. When he doesn’t want to, you can’t chase him around with the blocks. You have two choices: You can play with the blocks by yourself, or you can ask him whether he’ll play something else with you.”

Acknowledge feelings. Sometimes talking about a child’s feelings is all it takes to end a competitive bout. Rather than trying to find your preschooler a rock shaped just like her sibling’s — which she’s been trying to take by force all afternoon — talk to her. Recognize how much she wants her brother’s rock and why she wants it. Listening respectfully may save you a rock-hunting expedition around the lakeshore. Likewise, the next time she tries to snatch a toy from her older brother, remind her that grabbing isn’t allowed — and then say you can see why she wants that toy and you know it’s hard to wait. Teach her to ask if she can have something once her sibling’s done with it.

Set personal property boundaries. Don’t expect miracles, but you can avoid a lot of conflicts by designating a special place for your kids’ belongings — one shelf for each child, for instance. Tell them that before they can touch anything on a sibling’s shelf, they must ask permission. Help them make signs with each kid’s name and Keep Out or By Permission Only. Your preschooler will get a big kick out of having her own shelf — and is more likely to respect her sibling’s personal space. If your kids are close in age, getting them identical toys whenever it’s feasible can help prevent some future conflicts.

The Pinwheel Project brings to light how easy it is to make a kids day who is stuck in a hospital. While there are many ways to serve, we have chosen to simply clean out our DVD bin of used (but not used up) stuff we are not using any more. These are very highly sought after items in hospitals to bring some well deserved cheer. Pick what is right for your family, do it with joy together and you will love the results YOU get out of it with your kids.

As always, let me know what you think!

My very best,
Brett A Johnston

PS. We are getting really close on Close Kids the book.  In fact, I had the first one in my hands last week.  Just a few more tweaks…

Also, become a fan of Close Kids the Book and the Concept of having extremely close children on our Facebook page today.  We are just getting started, so we would be delighted to have your company!

I first heard the story this morning and thought to share it will all my girls.  It is a touching story that really makes you (and in this case my 8 year old) realize how lucky we are.  Take a read, you will not be disappointed.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31448115/ns/entertainment-movies/

My very best,
Brett A Johnston
closekids.com